Remember Ngozi: June 24th 1965 - March 9th 2015

I received news of her death as I sat cross-legged on my bright orange sofa after a typical crazy Monday at the office. My gaze was fixed squarely on the TV screen as Chef Ramsey screamed obscenities at the contestants of Hell`s Kitchen when the phone rang. Still I sat, sightless eyes glued to the screen as Arsenal beat Man-U 2-1. On a good day, this would have meant having a glass of my favourite bubbly in celebration, but not today. I still don`t recall turning off the TV or the lights, I was numb, zombie-like afterwards and also for the next few days. The tears would come a week later as I remembered Ngozi, my eldest sister.

There were two of them, the Good and the Bad and Ngozi was the good big sister. The Bad, her junior by three years, took absolute pleasure in reminding us that we were ‘small rats’ hence did not deserve a minute of her precious time. She spent her free time reading the popular Mills & Boons love stories which she kept far away from our prying innocent eyes. She would wrap the front covers with an old newspaper as the pictures depicted on them were usually of a man and a woman either kissing or in an embrace. One particularly hot afternoon when NEPA had struck again, I discovered a copy hidden under a pillow. I spent a while just staring at the cover before hurriedly flipping through the pages on the lookout for more pictures, as the cover suggested. Alas, all it contained were words, page after page of empty words. I quickly lost interest but as I reached to put it back, I felt myself being lifted by my left ear; she had caught me! While my playmates spent the rest of the afternoon playing boju boju outdoors, I was stuck in the baking heat indoors fanning her to sleep.

Ngozi on the other hand, being the most senior, was tasked with the overall responsibility of looking after us, the younger ones during the period that Mother was away. Thinking back now, she must only  have been in her mid teens, yet she appeared as huge as the rest of the adults. She would bathe and get us ready for school and when we returned just after midday, our lunch would be waiting for us. This she would have hurriedly prepared before rushing off to her own school which unlike ours began in the afternoon. Most evenings when she returned, the sweet aroma of freshly roasted corn would announce her presence. To this day, roasted corn still evokes such fond memories. She did spoil us because there were the usual threats of punishment when we misbehaved but I don`t recall a single occasion where she carried them out.

Her dimples were her most distinctive features and they made her stand out as none of us had any. How I longed to have them! With my index fingers I would apply pressure to the spots close to my mouth and pray for a miracle when I smiled. When I purse my lips, I can still see the tiny indentations, evidence of my failed attempts at dimpleology.

My sister was kind-hearted, easy-going, warm, friendly, and always happy. She had a perpetual smile on her face and could always find something to laugh about. I don`t think I could ever forget the sound of her laughter. And she loved children. She already had two of our adolescent distant cousins living with her yet she adopted a two year old boy.

Death struck so suddenly, life truly is fleeting. But if we gladly accept happiness from God then we must also accept sadness. I console myself with the precious memories I have, my only wish is that there were more of them spanning perhaps a few more decades, and this time featuring our children.

We lay you to rest tomorrow, 26th March. Finally you are at peace.

Good night Big Sis, Mrs Ngozi Belema Blessing Benedette Ebonghor nee Nze.